i am not myself these days

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I Am Not Myself These Days

Author : Josh Kilmer-Purcell
ISBN : 9781448125012
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 86. 48 MB
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Josh Kilmer-Purcell lived a double life. By day, he was a successful young advertising executive. By night, he would trade in his corporate uniform for high heels and sequins, and perform in downtown New York nightclubs as a drag queen called Acquadisiac before returning to the uptown penthouse he shared with his crack-addicted male escort boyfriend. In this powerfully written, emotional rollercoaster of a memoir, Kilmer-Purcell blends the glittering and highly dramatic world of nightclubs, drugs and drag with a soulful and ironic perspective on his own journey through love and life. Told with a raw and honest voice that conveys hard truths with unflinching courage, I Am Not Myself These Days is a stunningly witty and ultimately deeply moving tour de force by a remarkable talent.

Note To Self

Author : Connor Franta
ISBN : 9781471163586
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 68. 13 MB
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In his New York Times bestselling memoir, A Work in Progress, Connor Franta shared his journey from small-town Midwestern boy to full-fledged Internet sensation. Exploring his past with humor and astounding insight, Connor reminded his fans of why they first fell in love with him on YouTube—and revealed to newcomers how he relates to his millions of dedicated followers. Now, two years later, Connor is ready to bring to light a side of himself he’s rarely shown on or off camera. In this diary-like look at his life since A Work In Progress, Connor talks about his battles with clinical depression, social anxiety, self-love, and acceptance; his desire to maintain an authentic self in a world that values shares and likes over true connections; his struggles with love and loss; and his renewed efforts to be in the moment—with others and himself. Told through short essays, letters to his past and future selves, poetry, and original photography, Note to Self is a raw, in-the-moment look at the fascinating interior life of a young creator turning inward in order to move forward.


Author : Boman Desai
ISBN : 9781504915885
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 43. 26 MB
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The trio comprises three musical geniuses: Robert and Clara Schumann and Johannes Brahms. Clara married Robert, with whom she fell in love when she was just sixteen, though it meant challenging the iron will of her father, who wished her to marry an earl or a count, certainly not an impoverished composer. The Schumanns had eight children, and Robert’s greatness as a composer was never in doubt, but he was also mentally ill, attempted suicide, and finally incarcerated himself in an asylum, where he died two and a half years later. Johannes Brahms entered the picture shortly before the incarceration and fell deeply in love with Clara but was just as deeply indebted to Robert for getting his first six opuses published within weeks of their meeting. Clara was forbidden to see Robert in the asylum because the doctors feared she would excite him too much. Brahms became a go-between for the couple, ferrying messages to and fro, but both loved Robert too well to abuse his trust. Brahms learned instead to associate deep love with deep renunciation—and, coupling this love with early experiences of playing dance music for sailors and prostitutes in Hamburg’s dockside bars, he became a victim to the Freudian conundrum: where he loves, he feels no passion, and where he feels passion, he cannot love. Germany grows in the hinterland of the story from four hundred-plus principalities to one nation under Bismarck. The great composers of the century (Mendelssohn, Chopin, Liszt, and Wagner among others) have their entrances and exits, and the ghosts of Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, and Schubert are never distant. Though firmly grounded in fact, the book unfolds like a novel, a narrative of love, insanity, suicide, revolution, politics, war, and of course, music.

Fear Treads The Mountains

Author : Saundra Crum Akers
ISBN : 9781482585858
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 39. 91 MB
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Kate, a new wife, became critically ill right after she moved to a remote mountain with her husband Jeffrey Cable. Soon she was beset with other concerns including reports of UFO activity, the story of her mother-in-laws death, and doubts about her husband.Left without a phone or a car, Kate is trapped with her memories and fears and yet she struggles to be a good wife, loving and supportive of a husband she has started to distrust. The final crisis occurs when her visiting mother disappears from Kate's house one night without explanation. Now in spite of her illness Kate must find out what has happened to the mother she adores.

My Brother S Keeper

Author : Nicole Rainear
ISBN : 9781469122441
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 73. 45 MB
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John McKenzie was born and raised in the small town of Winslow, Kentucky. He and his family have lived their lives in a cloud of secrets. Now his secrets are coming back to haunt him. Its up to John, with the help of his friends, to look for the answers that have eluded him his entire life. But the answers he seeks lie within his family... both past and present. Can he get the anwswers he needs before the ghosts of his past com for them all?

Triumphant Return Of My Black Goddess

Author : Teejay LeCapois
ISBN : 9781105196508
Genre :
File Size : 64. 8 MB
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Grand Arsenal

Author : Kerri Webster
ISBN : 9781609380984
Genre : Poetry
File Size : 52. 27 MB
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From the intersection of public and private fear, Kerri Webster’s award-winning collection speaks of anxiety and awe, vanishings and reappearances. A city both rises and falls; worlds are simultaneously spoken into being and torn down by words. “This is how time sounds,” Webster writes; this is the hum and click of bodies “desirous of believing we’re all vehicle, every wet atom of us,” even as the saved seeds root in the fallen brickwork and the artifacts pile up: wisdom teeth, hummingbird skulls, plumb bobs, icons, antlers, incandescent bulbs. Grand & Arsenal begins “Bless me I am not myself,” but it is not long before the probability of being blessed is revealed to be as remote as the concept of a whole self. Thus begins the book’s defining struggle, enacted by a multitude of voices which move from rush to stumble and back again—meanwhile using all the tools we as a culture use to hold fear at arm’s length. We hear a familiar irony, as in “On a trip West, porn in the hotel room. I can take or leave it. The climax that puts me in the seats? World’s end.” We hear humor, as in “I believed in . . . / . . . a certain apocalypse not so much foretold as crafted / by large-brained monkeys.” We hear understatement, as in “knowing it does not matter / in the grand—she would say scheme, I would say / mishap—.” Most importantly, though, these poems allow for the fleeting triumph of an undefended voice, which appears often to emerge tentatively from a sort of exhausted collapse.

Three Theological Mistakes

Author : Ric Machuga
ISBN : 9781630877774
Genre : Religion
File Size : 75. 14 MB
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- Is the existence of God a matter of faith or knowledge? - Does God sometimes act miraculously or are there physical causes for everything? - Is morality absolute or relative? - Are humans truly free or does God's sovereignty determine everything? - When bad things happen, is God the cause or are they the fault of humans? Too frequently Christians answer these questions with a Yes to one side and a No to the other side. Thomas Aquinas and Karl Barth answer Yes to both. Following their model, Machuga defends a "third way" which transcends the Enlightenment dichotomies of fideism vs. rationalism, supernaturalism vs. naturalism, relativism vs. absolutism, free will vs. predestination, and God's justice vs. his mercy. Machuga begins by showing how these false dichotomies grew out of the Enlightenment assumptions of mechanism, universal quantification, and mono-causation. He then corrects these demonstrably dubious assumptions by articulating a theory of dual-causation. The result is a thoroughly biblical understanding of God, miracles, and free will that can withstand the contemporary criticisms of both science and philosophy.

The Comforts Of Madness

Author : Paul Sayer
ISBN : 9780094684805
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 67. 20 MB
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THE COMFORTS OF MADNESS is the unspoken monologue of Peter, a 33-year-old catatonic psychiatric patient, who is selected for an intense and controversial process of rehabilitation. Published in 1988, the book won that year's Constable Trophy, the Whitbread First Novel award, and the Whitbread Book of the Year award. It has been translated into ten languages.

The Newer Testament

Author : Nick Vale
ISBN : 9781477103074
Genre : Religion
File Size : 65. 2 MB
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The taboo subject of openly refuting free will is now finally out of the closet. This book is a must read for anyone interested in the illusion of free will. The Newer Testament, written by The Master Teachers, delivers groundbreaking truths for the entire world to discover. The Newer Testament quite simply delivers where others have failed. The Newer Testament delivers on what the unfree will is up to and how understanding the “perceived fair exchange of human energy” theory can make for a better world. The greatest gift we can find in life is the relief available to us once we understand that our past and future mistakes were and are predetermined. These “mistakes” were and will be necessitated by the “causal chains” we are bound to during our lives. In short, you have no choice but to read this book. It’s been 520 years since The New World was discovered by Columbus. The discoveries of The Newer Testament will make his discoveries look inconsequential by comparison.

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