So much of recovery from codependence has to do with figuring out where we stop and another person begins. Growing up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional family often prevents us from creating healthy physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual boundaries. This pamphlet offers meaningful insight on how to build healthy boundaries. So much of recovery from codependence has to do with figuring out where we stop and another person begins. Growing up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional family often prevents us from creating healthy physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual boundaries. This pamphlet offers meaningful insight on how to build healthy boundaries.
More than personal boundaries, this book is really about relationships--healthy and unhealthy ones. Here bestselling author and psychotherapist Charles Whitfield blends theories and dynamics from several disciplines into practical knowledge and actions that your can use in your relationships right now. This comprehensive book opens with clear definitions and descriptions of boundaries, a self-assessment survey and a history of our accumulated knowledge. Going deeper, it describes the 10 essential areas of human interaction wherein you can improve your relationships. These include age regression, giving and receiving (projection and projective identification), triangles, core recovery issues, basic dynamics, unfinished business and spirituality. It shows in countless practical ways how knowledge of each of these is most useful in your recovery and everyday life.
In Pungent Boundaries, the fourth volume of her Love Potions for Healthy Relationships series, Nancy Landrum uses many descriptions and examples to clarify the sometimes confusing topic of codependency and boundary setting. Nancy’s life experience uniquely qualifies her to educate others about the concepts and pitfalls of setting healthy boundaries. If you’re tired of feeling resentful, exhausted from trying to figure out what is wrong, struggling to understand the difference between loving support and unhealthy codependency, this simply written handbook is for you. By learning to establish, and maintain, healthy boundaries, your life will be liberated from resentment that poisons your relationships and prevents you from taking good care of yourself.
People recovering from codependency, adult children of dysfunctional families, and those seeking healthier relationships will find welcome wisdom and inspiration in the first four A Moment to Reflect booklets, Hazelden's newest inspirational series for Twelve Step living. Each of these four take-along booklets contains 30 topical affirmations that guide us as we work to improve our relationships. The first four booklets in this series address setting boundaries, letting go, accepting ourselves, and living our own lives. Setting Boundaries begins our recovery from the effects of our relationships with addicted, compulsive, or abusive people. As Melody Beattie wrote, "We need to set limits on what we'll give to others and what we'll take from them. We need to let others know where our boundaries are and that we are serious about them. Then, we need to change our behavior accordingly, backing ourselves up with positive action." By setting clear boundaries on our behavior and what we will accept from others, we begin to take back our lives from being controlled by other people's thoughts, feelings, and problems. We claim ownership of and responsibility for ourselves.
CODEPENDENCY BOOK BACKCOVER The Milky Way Galaxy, and everything therein, consisting of suns, moons, planets, asteroids, gases, energy, black holes, and particles of dust among others are-ALL-infinitely connected to each other by gravity, which holds everything together. Likewise, CoDependency Addiction, similar to the Earth revolving around our Sun, it-too-revolves around the absence of mother, father, or mother surrogate love in a child’s life and beyond. It is the primary source from which it originates, develops, and thrives within the mind-body of an affected human being. Mother, father, and mother surrogate love is the fuel that drives the development of an infant through the dependency state one is born in into the higher conscious awareness interdependency state. Initially, mother or mother surrogate love is used to assist their infant to self-actualize, namely to learn he or she is love by being loved by their parents. If this most critical step is missed, at a most critical time in the early development of an infant, from birth to six years old; unfortunately, the latter does not evolve emotionally to the interdependency state, in which the child, by this time, knows one Self as being love, and who realizes simultaneously that it is necessary to give their love to another human being, and by doing so, one is enabled to learn and experience what it feels like to be loved. When this irreplaceable process is carried-out according to Nature, the child is embodied with the fundamental tool to transform Self progressively into a “work of art.” One of the many contributions this book makes to our understanding of CoDependency Addiction is, when a child does not evolve emotionally into the interdependency state, he or she remains in a dependency state beyond appropriate years. By six years old, a child, who has been adequately nurtured with love from the outset, develops in their brain what is called “love circuits.” In the absence of mother or mother surrogate love during this crucial time, these circuits-empathy, kindness, caring, altruism, friendship, compassion, etc.-are replaced with others such as anger, shame, denial, guilt, low self-esteem, not good enough, unworthiness, narcissisms, ego etc. It is in this developmental space we find the origin of CoDependency Addiction manifested in an affected person’s adult life. Unable to make genuine friends and be loved, both of which are cornerstones of the interdependency state, fear and self-preservation emerge as a daily preoccupation and concern. This book outlines in detail how CoDependency Addiction is repressed within one’s injured and wounded “self,” and because of denial and projection, a web of deception is employed to “Go Along, To Get Along.” Although the hypnotic rhythm makes healing more formidable as the years pass, the solution is determination to shatter denial. Marteau X received his Doctor of Philosophy Degree from the University of Colorado, Boulder in 1977. He has spent 40 years studying social philosophy and dialectical materialism, including alienation and Psychology. He lives with his family in Baltimore, MD.
A Quick Guide to Break Free from The Co-dependent Cycle
Author: Bob Scott
Human beings are social animals and need relationships and a sense of community to function fully. As wonderful as relationships and interconnectedness are, it is still important that you protect your individualism while others do the same. Without this, a relationship cannot be truly deemed healthy. The self-abandonment and self-neglect in co-dependency lead to various emotional and physical health risks. Loving someone involves giving your time, resources, money, efforts, and many more things needed to make their lives easier, but care should be taken so that you do not get lost in meeting someone else's desire and neglecting your own needs. This book consists of strategies t0 stop co-dependency and allow for healthy boundaries in relationships. You will learn the concept of individuality, stop people from taking advantage of you, enjoy things outside your relationship, and become emotionally fulfilled without the constant approval of the other person. This is your ultimate guide to overcoming co-dependency.
The coronavirus pandemic has brought new and challenging interpersonal situations into our lives. Each challenge is an opportunity to assert who we are, and what we truly need to live happy, healthy lives. Have you recently walked away from a date or a conversation feeling uncomfortable or violated? Are you looking for ways to set limits with your spouse, kids, parents, or boss? This essential guide to setting and respecting boundaries is for anyone wanting to better understand themselves and others. Just as a cut in our skin causes pain and injury, a breach of any of our physical, emotional, or sexual boundaries can be very harmful to our bodies and minds. We may need help to heal from past boundary violations, respect the boundaries of those around us, and learn how to set healthy limits for the future, particularly if we have a history of trauma, unhealthy relationships, addiction, or adverse childhood experiences. Drawing on decades of personal and professional experience as a therapist—as well as stories from others who have learned how to heal from serious boundary violations—Anne Katherine, MA, brings us an invaluable, foundational guide on the who, what, and why of boundaries. With nearly 100,000 copies sold, Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin has already helped thousands of readers stand up for themselves and nurture healthier relationship.
In Codependent No More, Melody Beattie introduced the world to the term codependency. Now a modern classic, this book established Beattie as a pioneer in self-help literature and endeared her to millions of readers who longed for healthier relationships. Twenty-five years later concepts such as self-care and setting boundaries have become entrenched in mainstream culture. Now Beattie has written a followup volume, The New Codependency, which clears up misconceptions about codependency, identifies how codependent behavior has changed, and provides a new generation with a road map to wellness. The question remains: What is and what is not codependency? Beattie here reminds us that much of codependency is normal behavior. It's about crossing lines. There are times we do too much, care too much, feel too little, or overly engage. Feeling resentment after giving is not the same as heartfelt generosity. Narcissism and self-love, enabling and nurturing, and controlling and setting boundaries are not interchangeable terms. In The New Codependency, Beattie explores these differences, effectively invoking her own inspiring story and those of others, to empower us to step out of the victim role forever. Codependency, she shows, is not an illness but rather a series of behaviors that once broken down and analyzed can be successfully combated. Each section offers an overview of and a series of activities pertaining to a particular behavior -- caretaking, controlling, manipulation, denial, repression, etc. -- enabling us to personalize our own step-bystep guide to wellness. These sections, in conjunction with a series of tests allowing us to assess the level of our codependent behavior, demonstrate that while it may not seem possible now, we have the power to take care of ourselves, no matter what we are experiencing. Punctuated with Beattie's renowned candor and intuitive wisdom, The New Codependency is an owner's manual to learning to be who we are and gives us the tools necessary to reclaim our lives by renouncing unhealthy practices.
Your trusted guide to value yourself and break the patterns of codependency Codependency For Dummies, 2nd Edition is the most comprehensive book on the topic to date. Written in plain English and packed with sensitive, authoritative information, it describes the history, symptoms, causes, and relationship dynamics of codependency. The majority of the book is devoted to healing and lays out a clear plan for recovery with exercises, practical advice, and daily reminders to help you know, honor, protect, and express yourself. New to this edition are chapters on working the Twelve Steps to recover from codependency and how therapists/coaches/nurses are affected by codependency. Codependence is primarily a learned behavior from our family of origin. Some cultures have it to a greater degree than others—some still see it as a normal way of living. Yet the costs of codependence can include distrust, faulty expectations, passive-aggressiveness, control, self-neglect, over-focus on others, manipulation, intimacy issues, and a slew of other harmful traits. Codependence causes serious pain and affects the majority of Americans—not just women and loved ones of addicts. Codependency For Dummies, 2nd Edition offers authoritative and trusted guidance on ways to raise your self-esteem, detach and let go, set boundaries, recognize healthy vs. dysfunctional relationships, overcome guilt and resentment, and much more. Helps you break the pattern of conduct that keeps you in harmful relationships Provides trusted guidance to create healthy boundaries, coping skills, and expectations Offers advice for eliminating feelings of guilt, blame, and feeling overly responsible Explains the difference between care-giving and codependent care-taking If you're trapped in the cycle of codependency and looking for help, Codependency For Dummies, 2nd Edition offers trusted advice and a clear plan for recovery.
From the President of the Research Society on Alcoholism In the last decade research concerning the causes and consequences of alcohol abuse and alcoholism has come of age. We have witnessed a plethora of sci entific findings that have shed light on some of the actions of alcohol at the molecular level. Interesting new data have been forthcoming on the complexi ties of the development of tolerance to alcohol. It is becoming increasingly appropriate to consider that tolerance to alcohol involves biological as well as psychological factors. New scientific insights have been gained concerning the treatment of with drawal as well as the presence of persistent withdrawal signs that may possibly be involved with relapse. More recently, new and compelling data indicating that alcoholism is a common familial disorder have appeared. Clinical studies indicate that alcoholism is a heterogeneous disorder with multiformity in clin ical symptomatology and genetic heterogeneity. The heterogeneity of the clin ical features and the heritability of the predisposing factors of alcoholism are currently under vigorous scientific investigation. In the past several years sophisticated psychosocial studies have provided fundamental information on subjects at high risk for alcoholism. Psychosocial and biological studies of families including alcoholics and subjects at high risk are likely to bring new insights to our understanding of etiological factors. Moreover, as a result of these studies we stand to develop better prevention initiatives and treatment approaches.