if i ever get back to georgia i m gonna nail my feet to the ground

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If I Ever Get Back To Georgia I M Gonna Nail My Feet To The Ground

Author : Lewis Grizzard
ISBN : 9781588382733
Genre : Humor
File Size : 35. 38 MB
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The late Lewis Grizzard got his first newspaper job when he was 10 years old. Thirty-odd years later (30 very odd years), he was still in the newspaper business and still infuriated by it, still tickled by it, and still very much in love with it. If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground is all about that anger, that great humor, and that even greater passion for something that affects every single one of us: the daily newspaper. Grizzard begins with his first writing job (covering a boys' church-league team in Newnan, Georgia) and continues through his college years in Athens, Georgia, where he learned how to do such things as prepare a front-page headline and layout in case Jesus Christ ever returned to earth (headline: "HE'S BACK!"). He then examines his tenure at the Chicago Sun-Times, during which he lost his second wife, his cool, and very nearly his sanity but also learned an awful lot about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. This may be Gri

Chili Dawgs Always Bark At Night

Author : Lewis Grizzard
ISBN : 9781603063371
Genre : Humor
File Size : 86. 31 MB
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In Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night, Lewis Grizzard once again confirms his reputation as the "William Faulkner of just plain folks" using colorful storytelling to tackle such Grizzardian subjects as: Fashion: "Don't wear anything that features a picture of a pelican, a pink flamingo, or a beer can." The Future: "I'm predicting the world isn't going to come to an end anytime soon. There's too much unresolved, like whether or not Elvis is still alive, Jimmy Swaggart can stay on television, and if there will be another Rambo sequel." Dating: "Any single white female who has to resort to taking out an ad to find a boyfriend would take a SWM who's into yodeling, Hustler magazine, Ripple, and robbing convenience stores." People Who Cheat in the 12-Items-or-Less Lane: "Previously, I have dog-cussed these people and put curses on them, like, 'May your children grow up to be liberal Democrats.' I'm not going to be that mean-spirited anymore. What I'm going to do is go to the vegetable bin, grab a large cucumber, and beat them about the head and shoulders with it." Lewis Grizzard offers his views on everything from politics, religion, sex, and golf to the largest condom heist in history, wittier and more outrageous than ever. Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night shows why the South's most popular humorist continues to be America's most popular funny man.

My Daddy Was A Pistol And I M A Son Of A Gun

Author : Lewis Grizzard
ISBN : 9781603061544
Genre : Humor
File Size : 84. 9 MB
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Lewis Grizzard always makes us laugh. But this time, when he tells us all about his father—a certified war hero and a shameless passer of bad checks . . . a charmer of men and women and a consummate con artist . . . a man of great courage and an alcoholic destined to drink himself to death—he’s going to make us cry, too. And he’s going to give us a hilarious, moving account of that “tender, spooky territory: that country of the heart inhabited by fathers and sons.”

Elvis Is Dead And I Don T Feel So Good Myself

Author : Lewis Grizzard
ISBN : 9781603060837
Genre : Humor
File Size : 53. 8 MB
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The 1950s were simple times to grow up. For Lewis Grizzard and his buddies, gallivanting meant hanging out at the local store, eating Zagnut candy bars and drinking "Big Orange bellywashers." About the worst thing a kid ever did was smoke rabbit tobacco rolled in paper torn from a brown grocery sack, or maybe slick back his hair into a ducktail and try gyrating his hips like Elvis. But then assassinations, war, civil rights, free love, and drugs rocked the old order. And as they did, Grizzard frequently felt lost and confused. In place of Elvis, the Pied Piper of his generation, Grizzard now found wormy-looking, long-haired English kids who performed either half-naked or dressed like Zasu Pitts. Elvis Is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself is the witty, satiric, nostalgic account of Grizzard's efforts to survive in a changing world. Sex, music, clothes, entertainment, and life itself receive the Grizzard treatment. In this, his sixth book, Grizzard was never funnier or more in tune with his readers. He might not have felt so good himself, but his social commentary and humor can still make the rest of us feel just fine.

Bud Not Buddy

Author : Christopher Paul Curtis
ISBN : 9781101934265
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 63. 72 MB
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The Newbery Medal and Coretta Scott King Award-winning classic about a boy who decides to hit the road to find his father—from Christopher Paul Curtis, author of The Watsons Go To Birmingham—1963, a Newbery and Coretta Scott King Honoree. It’s 1936, in Flint Michigan. Times may be hard, and ten-year-old Bud may be a motherless boy on the run, but Bud’s got a few things going for him: 1. He has his own suitcase full of special things. 2. He’s the author of Bud Caldwell’s Rules and Things for Having a Funner Life and Making a Better Liar Out of Yourself. 3. His momma never told him who his father was, but she left a clue: flyers advertising Herman E. Calloway and his famous band, the Dusky Devastators of the Depression!!!!!! Bud’s got an idea that those flyers will lead him to his father. Once he decides to hit the road to find this mystery man, nothing can stop him—not hunger, not fear, not vampires, not even Herman E. Calloway himself. AN ALA BEST BOOK FOR YOUNG ADULTS AN ALA NOTABLE CHILDREN'S BOOK AN IRA CHILDREN'S BOOK AWARD WINNER NAMED TO 14 STATE AWARD LISTS “The book is a gem, of value to all ages, not just the young people to whom it is aimed.” —The Christian Science Monitor “Will keep readers engrossed from first page to last.” —Publishers Weekly, Starred “Curtis writes with a razor-sharp intelligence that grabs the reader by the heart and never lets go. . . . This highly recommended title [is] at the top of the list of books to be read again and again.” —Voice of Youth Advocates, Starred From the Hardcover edition.

It Wasn T Always Easy But I Sure Had Fun

Author : Lewis Grizzard
ISBN : 9780345400017
Genre : Humor
File Size : 54. 92 MB
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Highlighting the funniest and most memorable portions of his work, a best-of-the-best collection is culled from Lewis Grizzard's seventeen books and countless columns and celebrates his riotous down-home philosophies. Reprint. LJ.

The Short Stories Of F Scott Fitzgerald

Author : F. Scott Fitzgerald
ISBN : 9780684842509
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 72. 31 MB
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F. Scott Fitzgerald is best known for his novels such as THE GREAT GATSBY, but during his all-too-brief literary life, he sold some 160 short stories to popular magazines. Here, noted scholar and biographer Matthew Bruccoli assembles in one volume the full scope of the best of Fitzgerald's short fiction. These 43 sparkling masterpieces are offered in a handsome Scribner Classics edition, perfect for the home library.

I Haven T Understood Anything Since 1962

Author : Lewis Grizzard
ISBN : 0345419251
Genre : Humor
File Size : 22. 69 MB
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Ender S Game

Author : Orson Scott Card
ISBN : 9780765394866
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 79. 12 MB
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This engaging, collectible, miniature hardcover of the Orson Scott Card classic and worldwide bestselling novel, Ender's Game, makes an excellent gift for anyone's science fiction library. “Ender's Game is an affecting novel."—New York Times Book Review Once again, Earth is under attack. An alien species is poised for a final assault. The survival of humanity depends on a military genius who can defeat the aliens. But who? Ender Wiggin. Brilliant. Ruthless. Cunning. A tactical and strategic master. And a child. Recruited for military training by the world government, Ender's childhood ends the moment he enters his new home: Battle School. Among the elite recruits Ender proves himself to be a genius among geniuses. He excels in simulated war games. But is the pressure and loneliness taking its toll on Ender? Simulations are one thing. How will Ender perform in real combat conditions? After all, Battle School is just a game. Isn't it?

The Glass Castle

Author : Jeannette Walls
ISBN : 9781439156964
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 38. 79 MB
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The child of an alcoholic father and an eccentric artist mother discusses her family's nomadic upbringing, during which she and her siblings fended for themselves while their parents outmaneuvered bill collectors and the authorities.

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