how to traumatize your children 7 proven methods to help you screw up your kids deliberately and with skill

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Knock Knock How To Traumatize Your Children

Author : Knock Knock (Firm)
ISBN : 1601063091
Genre : Humor
File Size : 78. 94 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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How To Mess Up Your Child S Life

Author : Olivia Bruner
ISBN : 9780446543736
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 31. 53 MB
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There are several people in life you don't want to hear say, "Oops!" Your barber, your mechanic, and your surgeon are three that come to mind. So do your parents and spouse. And yet, few of us put much thought into how we can create happier homes. Now, Christian parenting experts Kurt and Olivia Bruner have created a tongue-in-cheek but invaluable guide that helps parents move past "oops" to intentional, fun, and faith-filled parenting. In a way that keeps parents engaged amid the nonstop grind of jobs and household chores, the Bruners walk parents through the steps in creating a plan for infusing faith dynamics into the home.

Experimenting With Babies

Author : Shaun Gallagher
ISBN : 9781101599693
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 86. 66 MB
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Babies can be a joy—and hard work. Now, they can also be a 50-in-1 science project kit! This fascinating and hands-on guide shows you how to re-create landmark scientific studies on cognitive, motor, language, and behavioral development—using your own bundle of joy as the research subject. Simple, engaging, and fun for both baby and parent, each project sheds light on how your baby is acquiring new skills—everything from recognizing faces, voices, and shapes to understanding new words, learning to walk, and even distinguishing between right and wrong. Whether your little research subject is a newborn, a few months old, or a toddler, these simple, surprising projects will help you see the world through your baby’s eyes—and discover ways to strengthen newly acquired skills during your everyday interactions.

Raising The Perfect Child Through Guilt And Manipulation

Author : Elizabeth Beckwith
ISBN : 9780061939686
Genre : Humor
File Size : 31. 24 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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Popular actress and stand-up comedienne Elizabeth Beckwith gives us the parenting guide to end all parenting guides: Raising the Perfect Child through Guilt and Manipulation. A frequent guest on The Late, Late Show and one of seven comics featured in the Time magazine article, “Funny: The Next Generation,” Beckwith now puts forth a hilarious new parenting philosophy that would shock Dr. Spock and traumatize T. Berry Brazelton. Raising the Perfect Child through Guilt and Manipulation is a riotously irreverent take on contemporary child rearing.

Sh T My Kids Ruined

Author : Julie Haas Brophy
ISBN : 9780345527165
Genre : Humor
File Size : 85. 24 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
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Quite possibly the best birth control on the market, Sh*t My Kids Ruined is a pictorial tribute to the filthy, distasteful, gross, and painful moments of parenthood, and the children who make it all possible. Kids: they are the light of your life—and the enemy of all things fragile, intact, and clean. But why cry over spilt milk . . . or paint . . . or the entire contents of a full-size swimming pool? A testament to the messiness of childhood (and parenting), and a memorial to the household items that perished along the way, here are never-before-seen photos and outrageous stories of VCRs jammed with toys, toilets clogged with clothes, and furniture accented with permanent marker. Torn-up computer keyboards and torn-out hair, botched family photos and mustard-covered treadmills—nothing is off limits to your darling, destructive offspring. So raise a broken glass and embrace the madness, because laughter is the only surefire way to keep your sh*t together.

Tinder Nopes

Author : Holly Dalton
ISBN : 9781786854711
Genre : Humor
File Size : 83. 19 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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Online dating was invented to make finding a potential match a breeze—you can do it from the comfort of your own home! In your pajamas! But for some people, the instant, no-effort-required nature of online dating (and the fact that you can't get punched in the face for a dodgy chat-up line) brings out their worst side. From cringe-worthy conversation starters to lines that ramp up the rudeness from 0-100 in nanoseconds, the best of the worst ever chat-up fails are collected here for your reading pleasure. Note: Unfortunately you can't swipe left on these conversations.

Go The F K To Sleep

Author : Adam Mansbach
ISBN : 9781453224748
Genre : Humor
File Size : 42. 36 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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A laugh-out-loud, adults-only bedtime story for parents familiar with the age-old struggle of putting their kids to bed “Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.” Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.

A Practical Guide To Racism

Author : C. H. Dalton
ISBN : 9781592404308
Genre : Humor
File Size : 50. 36 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
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A whimsical and irreverent evaluation of the world's diverse populations, written pseudonymously by the fictional son of an elitist family, argues in support of supremacist belief systems while diminishing the sufferings of minority groups. Reprint.

Learning To Play With A Lion S Testicles

Author : Melissa Haynes
ISBN : 9781933016818
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 35. 29 MB
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The cheeky title of Melissa Haynes's story of adventure in Africa, Learning to Play with a Lion's Testicles, earned the book some big publicity on NBC-TV/Late Night with Jimmy Fallon on September 4,2013 where it topped the show's list of "Titles Not to Read" for September 2013. Melissa's book was also a big smash on the March 11, 2014 Ellen Show, where Ellen and guest Ricky Gervais highlighted the book throughout the entire hour. Playing with a lion’s testicles: An African saying that means to take foolhardy chances. Melissa, an exhausted executive from the city seeks meaning and purpose from her work, and volunteers for a Big Five conservation project in South Africa. Her boss, an over-zealous ranger, nicknamed the Drill Sergeant, has no patience for city folk, especially if they're women, and tries to send her packing on day one. But Melissa stands her ground with grit and determination, however shaky it may be. Conflict soon sets the pace with a cast filled with predatory cats, violent elephants, and an on-going battle of wits with the Drill Sergeant. Even Mother Nature pounds the reserve with the worst storm in a century. But the most enduring and profound conflict is the internal battle going on within Melissa, as she tries to come to terms with the guilt surrounding her mother's death. When death grips the game reserve, it is the very animals Melissa has come to save that end up saving her. For the reader who has ever dreamed of going to Africa or knows the pain of loss and guilt, LEARNING TO PLAY WITH A LION’S TESTICLES will fill your soul.

Safe Baby Handling Tips

Author : David Sopp
ISBN : 0762456582
Genre : Humor
File Size : 55. 57 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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With its laugh-out-loud guidance on baby care, Safe Baby Handling Tips is a must-have for anyone overwhelmed—and befuddled—when it comes to caring for their bundle of joy. Now, it's updated and refreshed to be even more helpful and relevant to the modern parent. Incompetent parents everywhere can benefit from this indispensable guide—complete with The Wheel of Responsibility to help moms and dads negotiate baby responsibilities (and shirk diaper duty!) whenever they can. Makes baby-rearing a blast!

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