how to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you

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How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You

Author : The Oatmeal Staff
ISBN : 1449417051
Genre :
File Size : 32. 47 MB
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The Oatmeal 2013 Wall Calendar • The Oatmeal is one of the most popular Web comics online, getting an average of 4.6 million unique visitorsand more than 20 million page views a month. • Time magazine named TheOatmeal.com one of the best blogs of 2010. Based on Matthew Inman's hugely popular Web site and hisNew York Timesbest-selling book5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth,How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You 2013 Wall Calendarfeatures a quirky and humorous full-color comic each month along with a user-friendly grid. As a bonus, the calendar also includes a free, pull-out poster.

How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You

Author : The Oatmeal
ISBN : 9781449410247
Genre : Humor
File Size : 71. 18 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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Mr Oats delivers a side-splitting serving of cat comics in his new book, 'How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You'. If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. 'How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You' is a hilarious, brilliant offering of cat comics, facts, and instructional guides from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com.

My Dog The Paradox

Author : The Oatmeal
ISBN : 9781449437718
Genre : Humor
File Size : 67. 39 MB
Format : PDF
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This eponymous comic became an instant hit when it went live on The Oatmeal.com and was liked on Facebook by 700,000 fans. Now fans will have a keepsake book of this comic to give and to keep. In My Dog: The Paradox, Inman discusses the canine penchant for rolling in horse droppings, chasing large animals four times their size, and acting recklessly enthusiastic through the entirety of their impulsive, lovable lives. Hilarious and heartfelt, My Dog: The Paradox eloquently illustrates the complicated relationship between man and dog. We will never know why dogs fear hair dryers, or being baited into staring contests with cats, but as Inman explains, perhaps we love dogs so much “because their lives aren’t lengthy, logical, or deliberate, but an explosive paradox composed of fur, teeth, and enthusiasm.”

Is Your Cat Gay

Author : Charles Kreloff
ISBN : 1439104344
Genre : Humor
File Size : 81. 44 MB
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Have you ever found yourself pondering your cat's sexual preference? Perhaps the answer lies within these pages.

How To Talk To Your Cat About Gun Safety

Author : Zachary Auburn
ISBN : 9780451494931
Genre : Humor
File Size : 61. 10 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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The cats of America are under siege! Long gone are the good old days when a cat’s biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives. For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, “What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?” and “What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?” and especially “Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?” Our country—and our cats—stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats—and America—great again!

5 Very Good Reasons To Punch A Dolphin In The Mouth And Other Useful Guides

Author : The Oatmeal
ISBN : 1449406750
Genre : Humor
File Size : 26. 30 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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In Matthew Inman's New York Times best selling 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides), samurai sword-wielding kittens and hamsters that love .50-caliber machine guns commingle with a cracked out Tyrannosaur that is extremely hard to potty train. Bacon is better than true love and you may awake in the middle of the night to find your nephew nibbling on your toes. Inman creates these quirky scenes for theoatmeal.com, which launched in July 2009 and already has more than 82 million page views. In fact, every 15 to 30 seconds, someone Googles one of theoatmeal.com's creations. Now, 60 of Inman's comic illustrations and life-bending guides are presented in full-color inside 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides). Consider such handy advice as: 4 Reasons to Carry a Shovel at All Times, 6 Types of Crappy Hugs, 8 Ways to Tell if Your Loved One Plans to Eat You, 17 Things Worth Knowing About Your Cat, and 20 Things Worth Knowing About Beer.

Dancing With Cats

Author : Burton Silver
ISBN : 9781452141145
Genre : Nature
File Size : 53. 10 MB
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Photographs and text celebrate the joyous communication that can exist between humans and their feline companions as they engage in movement and dance together.

The Terrible And Wonderful Reasons Why I Run Long Distances

Author : The Oatmeal
ISBN : 9781449461416
Genre : Humor
File Size : 76. 76 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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This is not just a book about running. It's a book about cupcakes. It's a book about suffering. It's a book about gluttony, vanity, bliss, electrical storms, ranch dressing, and Godzilla. It's a book about all the terrible and wonderful reasons we wake up each day and propel our bodies through rain, shine, heaven, and hell. From #1 New York Times best-selling author, Matthew Inman, AKA The Oatmeal, comes this hilarious, beautiful, poignant collection of comics and stories about running, eating, and one cartoonist's reasons for jogging across mountains until his toenails fall off. Containing over 70 pages of never-before-seen material, including "A Lazy Cartoonist's Guide to Becoming a Runner" and "The Blerch's Guide to Dieting," this book also comes with Blerch race stickers.

How To Be Perfectly Unhappy

Author : The The Oatmeal
ISBN : 1449433537
Genre :
File Size : 26. 79 MB
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Matthew Inman--Eisner Award-winning creator of The Oatmeal and #1 New York Times bestselling author of How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You--serves yet another helping of thoughtful hilarity in this charming, illustrated gift book for anyone who is irked by the question: "Are you happy?" In How To Be Perfectly Unhappy, Inman explores the surprising benefits of forgetting about "happiness," and embracing instead the meaningful activities that keep us busy and interested and fascinated.

If My Dogs Were A Pair Of Middle Aged Men

Author : The Oatmeal
ISBN : 9781449488673
Genre : Humor
File Size : 75. 59 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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In If My Dogs Were a Pair of Middle-Aged Men, Matthew Inman imagines, to hilarious effect, what life would be like if his dogs were a couple of old men running around his house. The result is a pitch-perfect gift for any dog owner.

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