dear asshole 101 tear out letters to the morons who muck up your life

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Dear Asshole

Author : Jillian Madison
ISBN : 0762442867
Genre : Humor
File Size : 57. 50 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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Dear Asshole includes 101 letters to tell off all the assholes you encounter on a daily basis, each letter conveniently perforated so you can tear it out and give it to the desired offender. The world is full of assholes -- but now you can fight back! Ever wish you could leave a nasty note for that jerk meter maid who ticketed you, or the idiot who didn't clean up after his dog, or your asshole psychotic ex? Now you can! Whether it's the asshole landlord, the asshole cheapskate, the asshole backseat driver, or the constantly cheery asshole, you should never leave home without this useful book ever again! Letters include: Dear Asshole Who Stole My Parking Space Dear Asshole Who Doesn't Know How to Use Self-Checkout Dear Contagious Asshole Dear Constantly Broke Asshole Dear Online Dating Asshole Who Lied About Their Looks Dear Asshole Boss Dear Fanatically Religious Asshole at My Door And more!

Wtf

Author : Gregory Bergman
ISBN : 9781440516146
Genre : Humor
File Size : 64. 66 MB
Format : PDF
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You order a large coffee with milk and two sugars at the drive thru, and wind up with a large black—decaf. You go to save the presentation that's taken you all week to complete—only to discover it's corrupt. Your bank slaps you with a $25 charge for overdrafting 25 cents… And all you can think is…WTF? Luckily for you, this book fills in the blanks and gives you humorous ideas for what to do when life makes them say, "what the f*#!?" Step by step, the authors take readers through inventively therapeutic, sometimes illegal, always hilarious solutions to life's many problematic situations. Whether it happens at the office or at home, out on the town or in the bedroom, life's most f*#!'ed-up situations are covered in this entertaining guide. Rather than turn lemons into lemonade, this book spits lemon juice into life's eye and gives it a good kick to the junk.

Parking Tickets

Author : Shinebox Shinebox Print
ISBN : 1612433499
Genre : Humor
File Size : 90. 62 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
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Collection of tear-out cards designed to be torn off and left for drivers of badly parked cars.

Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex

Author : Mark Leyner
ISBN : 9780307352712
Genre : Health & Fitness
File Size : 86. 25 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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The Doctor Is In . . . Again! Did the mega-bestselling Why Do Men Have Nipples? exhaust your curiosity about stuff odd, icky, kinky, noxious, libidinous, or just plain embarrassing? No, you say? Well, good, because the doctor and his able-bodied buddy are in! Again! Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg, M.D., now take on the differences between the sexes—those burning questions like Why doesn’t my husband ever listen? or Why does my wife ALWAYS have to pee? And of course, Why do men fall asleep after sex?, plus plenty of others to keep you fully informed. Full of smart and funny answers to an onslaught of new questions, all in a do-ask-we’ll-tell spirit that entertain and teaches you something at the same time, Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex? offers the real lowdown on everything everyone wants to know about all things anatomical, medical, sexual, nutritional, animal, and mineral, but would only ask a physician after a few too many, like: • Why do you have a “bionic” sense of smell when you’re pregnant? • Does peeing in the shower cure athlete’s foot? • Is a dog’s mouth clean? • Can you breastfeed with fake boobs? • Does thumb sucking cause buckteeth? • Do your eyebrows grow back if shaved? Bigger, funnier, and better than ever, Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex? proves that in the battle of the sexes, as in most things, a little Q&A is a safe, effective, minimally invasive remedy. Also available as an eBook From the Trade Paperback edition.

I Hate Everyone

Author : Matthew DiBenedetti
ISBN : 9781440533594
Genre : Humor
File Size : 20. 34 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
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It's true: Misery does love company. But what kind of company can you keep if you can't stand anyone? This kind. No matter who they are or what they do that sets you off and gets you going, you'll find 'em inside. From rich people who are dicks to guys named Rich who go by Dick to those who are always cold to people who are just hot, no one is safe. But one thing is certain—everyone will find someone they equally despise. And you're gonna love it, period.

Crazy Sh T Old People Say

Author : Geoff Tibballs
ISBN : 9781849019224
Genre : Humor
File Size : 57. 35 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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With old age comes grey hair, dodgy knees, a sudden passion for re-runs of Murder, She Wrote, and an apparent God-given licence to speak one's mind and be generally offensive without fear of retribution. Under the guise of passing on the benefits of their experience to family members or just casual acquaintances, old people exercise their right to swear, cuss and insult as they please. These feisty philosophers take no prisoners as they use their scalpel-like tongues to dissect modern life and the younger generations. If challenged over their outrageous comments, they'll play the age card: you know the sort of thing - 'I'm eighty-six, I've fought for my country, and if I want to call you a no-good, lowdown, useless fuckwit, then I'll call you a no-good, lowdown, useless fuckwit, Vicar.' Other gems include: It bugs me when people say, 'Life is short.' What the hell does it mean? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does! Are they going to do something that's longer? Son, if it's got tits or tyres, you're gonna have trouble with it. We all have our disappointments in life, son, and I'm talking to mine right now. The only way in which life resembles a bed of roses is that you encounter a lot of pricks along the way. Sure I'm surprised you can't get a job, son. I heard the world was crying out for someone who is lazy, has no qualifications but can spit gum into a waste paper basket from ten feet. Don't you think you might stand a better chance of becoming a captain of industry if you got rid of some of that metal shit on your body - like the nose stud and the eyebrow rings? Donald Trump may have a crap haircut but I bet he doesn't have pierced fucking nipples. Son, if life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. The secret of a happy life is to run out of cash and air at exactly the same time.

Fifty Shades Of Dumb

Author : Leland Gregory
ISBN : 9781628734683
Genre : Humor
File Size : 74. 22 MB
Format : PDF
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Sex. It’s something that’s on everyone’s mind. But the minds that thought of the weird, strange, and stupid sex acts that are reported in Fifty Shades of Dumb: True Stories of Strange and Screwy Sex are a breed of their own—and unfortunately some of them try to breed on their own.

The Quotable A Hole

Author : Eric Grzymkowski
ISBN : 9781440529078
Genre : Reference
File Size : 40. 93 MB
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Whoever said, "sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you" never met an a**hole. Here, you'll find more than 1,200 of the most biting quotes, comments, and comebacks ever uttered, including: "I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence." --George Bernard Shaw "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." --Albert Einstein "If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you." --Muhammed Ali You won't just find quotes from typical a**holes like Winston Churchill, Joseph Stalin, and Mark Twain, either. You'll also see what happens when practically perfect folks like Walt Disney, Mahatma Ghandi, and Audrey Hepburn lose their cool. So embrace your dark side and get ready to enjoy every over-confident, over-blown, over-the-top a**hole comment you'll ever need.

Color My Boobs

Author : D. D. Stacks
ISBN : 9780937609613
Genre : Breast
File Size : 77. 1 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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This alluring collection of healthy, happy female pulchritude is the 1st in the My Boobs Series, which includes PLAY WITH MY BOOBS and STICKER MY BOOBS. The perfect party favor for Bachelorette and Bachelor parties, these books also make hilarious gag gifts, and stimulate romantic evenings! Surprisingly tasteful, these witty books offer hours of intimate fun! COLOR MY BOOBS offers color-in idrawings featuring an amazing variety of boobs for every taste: big, bigger, buxom, cantaloupes, torpedos, milk jugs, side boob, underboob, and much more. Showcasing the work of two talented artists, these line drawings also feature character boobs: a showgirl, pirate, cheerleader, goddess, hot teacher and much more!

The Swiss Cheese Theory Of Life

Author : Judith Belmont
ISBN : 9780982039892
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 76. 70 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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The Swiss Cheese Theory of Life is a book about Resiliency. Using Swiss Cheese as a metaphor for life itself, we explore ways to get through the holes rather than get stuck in them. Swiss is not like any other cheese and neither are you! This book will give you an opportunity to learn quick, easy and effective skills that will last a lifetime. Take a bite into The Swiss Cheese Theory of Life and experience a new and better way of living right now.

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